life of faith

taking baby steps & leaps & everything in between


Accepting Where God Has Placed You

Today, I:

-woke up at 4:20 a.m.
-then gave myself the liberty to sleep in til 5:50 a.m.
-took a hot shower & gloriously felt all the mucus un-clog from my sinuses for 20 minutes
-got upset because my husband left out 5.whole.things. when he went to bed last night: the remote, the throw blanket, a glass, his slippers, and a throw pillow… and the cable box was still on. Spent a lot of mental energy figuring out how to discuss this with him without throwing a tantrum or criticizing. Succeeded.
-didn’t make the bed for the 3rd day in a row
-made ham, turkey, & cheese sandwiches for my hubby & me to take to work
-toasted an Eggo waffle for breakfast, topped it with butter & syrup, and accompanied it with a tall glass of OJ
-read about Moses (Exodus 1-2)
-scrambled to get out the door on time and was thankful once again for no frost on my car
-got into work 2 minutes early
-had 6 voicemails waiting for me
-got all the mail done before the mailman came – hoorah!
-attended my first “webinar” about superior customer service. Wished it told us how to deal with crazy people
-passed up multiple opportunities to speak Spanish
-didn’t take a lunch break
-felt horrible around 12 pm
-made an impressive mountain of tissues in the trash can under my desk
-checked Pinterest for distraction when I felt like my body was going to fall apart
-was told my eyes looked “glassy” for the first time
-was told to go home after my sweet co-worker Chris felt my forehead
-got all my work done except my photocopies. I hate making photocopies.
-realized I don’t know a thing about welfare
-was told that in the event of an intruder with a firearm, I should skillfully dodge bullets while announcing the intruder over the intercom and remaining on the line with 9-1-1… can’t imagine my response being so calm & coordinated
-bawled my right eye out because something got stuck in my contact… literally had tears streaming down the right side of my face
-left work not-so-promptly at 4:05
-called my hubby 3 times in a row on the way home to complain about how lousy I felt and asked him to snuggle me when he got home
-made a doctor’s appointment for 9:45 tomorrow morning
-summoned some energy to clean & cut up celery, cucumber, lettuce, and tomato for a yummy dinner salad w/ balsamic vinaigrette

If it isn’t obvious, I’m sick. I.hate.being.sick. For a productivity addict like me, sickness feels like a prison sentence. Thankfully, Dayne hasn’t gotten it, so at least one of us can continue with normal life. As noted above, I haven’t made the bed for three days in a row – partly because I haven’t had the energy, and partly because I believe there are thousands of germs nesting in it that need to be aired out.

Anyways, it’s kind of funny that I came down with this after my last blog entry about slowing down. I’ve really had to slow down. This past weekend, which was a 3-day holiday weekend, Dayne & I spent inside doing a whole lot of nothing (video games, movies, reading, eating, sleeping). I didn’t even go to church on Sunday (Dayne went, and I was so thankful that he could still go).

When it comes down to it, I have a very hard time just taking it easy and relaxing and not getting anxious about life passing me by. I feel like I always have to be making the most of everyday, accomplishing something, doing exciting things. I don’t know where that pressure comes from, but it’s not healthy! Of course, motivation to some extent is healthy, but there is something the Old Testament is teaching me about God and everyday life. We don’t have to be meeting these huge milestones everyday for God to be working in us and accomplishing His purposes through us. A lot of God’s work in our lives is through the mundane, everyday stuff. Usually when God does call us to do big stuff, He spends a lot of time building us up for it (Noah had to build the ark before the flood, Abraham waited over 100 years to have his son, Joseph spent thirteen years imprisoned in Egypt, Moses spent forty years hiding out with shepherds before God called him to go back to Egypt & confront Pharoah, etc.). This encourages me to see the point and the glory in the everyday.

I shared this quote with Dana recently, and I’d like to share it here:

“Wherever the providence of God may dump us down, in a slum, in a shop, in the desert, we have to labour along the line of His direction. Never allow this thought — “I am of no use where I am,” because you certainly can be of no use where you are not! Wherever He has engineered your circumstances, pray.” – Oswald Chambers (emphasis mine)

Do I believe in His providence? Yes. Do I believe in His sovereignty? Yes. So then, I am okay with being sick right now, and I embrace this time of rest and taking care of my physical body. I pray that I will continue to be patient with myself and seek God out in my everyday.

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First a Sore Throat, then Death.

Why does the first time you get sick after a particularly long healthy streak make you feel like you’re dying?

I went to bed last night with a scratchy throat and some lethargy and pretty much kissed my husband good-bye. As I lay there in the dark, I longed for blissful unconsciousness and a clean bill of health if I woke up in the morning.

I tossed and turned all night and had a half-asleep discussion with my husband at 4:00 a.m. about how I haven’t had a sore throat this bad since the last time I had Strep throat. I was uncomfortable and thirsty and alternating between exhaustion and insomnia, trying to find a comfortable position in a bed that was trying to eat me alive.

I had to call out of work this morning, which was a fiasco in itself. I long for the good old days, back before 2009, when I could call out of work without completely sabotaging my employer. Wish list for any future job: sick days (paid or unpaid). Although I guess my longed-for future mommy-hood is the worst possible career choice for trying to get a sick day. This may just be my cross to bear.

My hubby gets a gold star because he got up and went to the grocery store first thing this morning to get me water ice, popsicles, fruit, yogurt, and Zicam (wrong medication, but good effort).

^^mmm, Tylenol

I’m currently on Tylenol and a lot of food and liquids, the back of my throat feels quite gross (Dayne asked me what post-nasal drip was this morning and didn’t like my answer), I have a persistent light-headedness and ongoing confusion over whether if I feel hot or cold or both. A low fever caps it all off and shuts down all my hopes of productivity for the rest of the day. I’ll be lucky if I summon the energy to take a shower.

I know this is all quite melodramatic, but I feel awful. With the long day ahead, I’m thinking about reading, watching Slumdog Millionaire, job hunting, and finding some more interesting blogs to follow.

We should also find out about whether our agreement of sale on our potential house is going to go through sometime today. I guess that’s enough to keep us mentally and emotionally busy!

What are your remedies of choice for a sore throat or cold? Plus, help me out and name some of your favorite things to do when you’re sick and in your PJs all day…