Where did the time go? I checked Dayne’s and my wedding website today, and it felt completely surreal to see that there are only 17 days left until our wedding day.
Our five-and-a-half month engagement has been a whirlwind. There have been some amazing moments, and some decidedly painful moments. There is not one moment I want to forget. I have been forced to grow as a person and as a future spouse. I have appreciated my friends, family, and new family in a deeper way than I thought possible.
Every so often, I find myself staring at this person in front of me whom I have decided to spend the rest of my life with… and I am baffled by how people make this kind of a decision everyday. How do you know? What is ever certain? Can you trust yourself? Can you trust anyone else? Who has a “good” relationship, and what does that look like? What is healthy fighting? Will our relationship change? Will we change? Will it bring us closer together, or push us further apart?
I wanted to blog throughout our entire engagement – to give mundane status updates on all the little details of wedding planning, to post pictures of all the DIY projects, to describe what we were learning through our pre-marital counseling, to document our growth as a couple… among other things – and yet, most things that have transpired were either too awful or too private. And I was always too busy. Overall, I didn’t want a published microscope looking into what our lives have been like over the last few months. Now that we have gotten through it, and are almost at the altar, I feel like I can finally bring myself to blog again.
I am excited. I am nervous. I have NO IDEA what the wedding day is going to feel like. But my bridal shower and my bachelorette party were three of the happiest days of my life, and I truly have an amazing support system, and I cannot wait to see everyone in one place celebrating this huge event of passage — and I can’t wait to look to my right and see Dayne there, and to take his hand when I get to the end of the aisle. He is the best person I know — incredibly patient, strong, and caring, and his love for me continues to humble me everyday. We’re not perfect, but I hope and pray that we can learn to love each other in a way that fulfills each of us, makes us stronger, and pushes us to love God and others more and more.
As for all the little details? They’ll come together on our wedding day and speak for themselves. At the end of the night, we’ll walk away with the warm glow of love from our family and friends, and the anticipation of our lives to come, beginning with the time we need to solely focus on each other and why we fell in love in the first place.